Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence?
Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole |
Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time! |
| Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. |
| Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. |
| The definition of a perfect Wife? - one who helps the husband with the dishes... |
| Marriage is a 3-ring circus - engagement ring, wedding ring and Suffering. |
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| Men are like chocolate bars.... sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. |
There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.
Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels." |
The Minister noticed the bride was in distress so asked what was wrong. She replied that she was awfully nervous and afraid she would not remember what to do. The Minister told her that she only needed to remember 3 things.
First the aisle, cos that is what you'll be walking down.
Secondly, the alter because that is where you will arrive.
Finally, remember hymn because that is a type of song we will sing during the service.
While the bride was walking in step with the wedding march, family and friends of the groom were horrified to hear her repeating these 3 words
...Aisle, alter hymn (I'll alter him) |
| Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence....(a life sentence!). |
| There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married - now he is going through Hell!!! |
